Another Stock Split—Wall Street Confuses Arithmetic With Innovation Again

Ah yes, stock splits: the financial world’s most celebrated non-event. A company cuts its share price into smaller slices, and investors act like someone handed them free money. Nobody handed you anything. You own the same percentage of the same company you owned yesterday. If you cut a pizza into twelve pieces instead of eight, congratulations—you don’t have more pizza.

Let’s be blunt about the mechanics, because apparently they need repeating. In a stock split, the share count increases and the price adjusts proportionally. A 10-for-1 split turns one $1,000 share into ten $100 shares. Total value: identical. Earnings per share adjust down by the same factor. Dividends per share adjust down. Your claim on the business hasn’t changed by a single basis point. If you genuinely believe splitting a share creates value, I have